Two days of summer shopping to go

So I'm back from my short hiatus and aren't the Arsenal in a mess? Losing at Eastlands at the weekend (I don't care what anyone's saying about our need to change the way we play, we created enough chances to bury them), two players still on the books who desperately don't want to be here and no new players in save Rosicky, and that happened before the World Cup started!

News breaking this morning that Double D has turned down a straight £21m offer from Chelsea for Cashley Tweedy. If this is true then Dein wants his bloody head examining. No it's not our originally stated price but it seems more and more like Dein is putting his own face saving ahead of the best interests of the club. £21m represents good business and would allow Arsene to pop out and pick up some essentials, such as milk, bread, and that Javier Mascherano fellow.

If Cole stays we have a massive problem. It's time to bite the bullet and just get the job done. The Sun is claiming the deal collapsed because the Chavs wouldn't do business on William Gallas, but I'm not buying that at all.

As for Jose Antonio, reports are now claiming that the less cunty Madrid, Atletico, have raised their offer to €20m. This should be enough to see him on his way back to sunnier climes. It would also seem to indicate that Young Theo Walcott will be playing a fair few more games than we might have expected this season, as I don't expect Wenger to go out and buy a replacement, and certainly not in the next two days.

There's a bit about Red Face II not picking Theo in the full England squad. I couldn't give a toss about games against Macedonia and Andorra.

Steve Bruce says he won't be able to buy Nicklas Bendtner. Too bloody right.

It's all getting a little bit worrying Arse fans. No defensive mid or centre back coming in, potentially two very unhappy players staying on, and our worst start to a season since 1992. Still, realistically it can only get better...

Porto and Moscow and Hamburg, oh my

So it's Porto, CSKA Moscow and Hamburg for Arsenal in the first round proper of this year's Champions League. Mad Jens is rather chuffed at being able to take on a team from Germania, whilst Arsene expects the group to be a tough test for us. To be honest I don't think any of the groups are particularly easy this year. When you get teams like Hamburg and Galatasary in the fourth pot you know that it's a strong year. The full group listing can be found here.

Chelski getting Barcelona again brought a wry smile from football fans everywhere, although I would have preferred they met them in the first knock out stage and sent the sorry bastards back to the Kings Road with their tails between their legs. Again.

Peter "bald-headed fuckwit" Kenyon says he's still hopeful of a deal going through for Ashley Cole to move to his spiritual home of Cuntford Bridge. Me too you slapheaded twat. I think my prophecy of Chelski arsing around until the last minute to stop Arsene spending the loot from the transfer will come to pass. To be fair I'd do exactly the same thing, but it's a dangerous game of brinkmanship and I don't want Arsenal to be stuck with the bastard all season. Rumours still abound that the cheeky fuckwit is holding out for a loyalty bonus. It beggars belief.

Double D confirmed that we have turned down an offer for Jose Antonio from Atletico Madrid, and seems to think the Spaniard will be staying. He certainly will if no-one offers a decent price for him.

Thierry says he won't be back to his best until October. That's a mighty long time to rely on Adebayor.

In other football news, I've seen the Ben Thatcher / Pedro Mendes a couple of times now and it truly is horrific. All this bollocks about him already having got a yellow card for it so nothing else can be done is exactly that: absolute bollocks. The FA need to get off their collective arses and ban this thug for at least eight games, maybe more. When you think that Rooney's missing three games for so much less it's ridiculous. This Andy Todd school of defending needs to get cleared out of the game, and quickly.

In ex-Arsenal news Nicolas "le sulk incredible" Anelka has joined Bolton for £8m. I'd love to know the combined value of his transfers. He's going to absolutely hate playing for Bolton / living in Bolton / looking at walrus face. Shouldn't be too long before he throws his toys out of the pram and walks out on them. It'll be fun.

Job done

We're in the Champions League after a 2-1 win over Dinamo Zagreb meant we went through 5-1 on aggregate, and that's all that really matters.

However, I have to look at the game as I have to admit that certain things really worried me quite a bit. I know it was a qualifying game against lesser opposition that we were already leading three nil, but there were issues in last night's game that need addressing.

Firstly, Justin Hoyte and Manu Eboue had absolutely shocking games. Not only were they caught high up the pitch a lot, their passing, even when passing ten yards square of themselves, was appalling. We'd be knocking the ball around, get four or five passes together, push it out wide and one of them would give it straight back to the opposition. They weren't the only culprits, but were the biggest culprits.

Djourou and Kolo made two big mistakes between them, unfortunately making them at the same time, leading to their (offside) goal (plus Aluminium looked brittle as ever letting the ball seem to pass through his body). Other than that they looked solid and Kolo made a few cavalier breaks forward with the ball which was good to see.

Ljungberg and Hleb both looked knackered from the off, and both looked like they thought they were playing centre mid. Far too often they came inside either with the ball or looking for the ball, and this constricted the space available to Fabregas and Flamini, both of whom failed to impose themselves on the game. It also meant that when either Adebayor (who was very poor) or RvP (who was very good) dropped deep, there was no space to play in and nobody to pass out of the centre to.

That said we still created good chances and should have scored more. RvP had a shot cleared off the line which hit the bar and came out. Ljungberg missed the kind of chance he used to put away in his sleep. The less said about Adebayor the better. The goals, which came from Freddie and the Flim Flam Man were well worked, and unusually for us both came from crosses (from Robin and Theo respectively). That's two sub appearances for YTW, two big assisting roles in goals. I'm really surprised he didn't start, and when he didn't start that he didn't come on earlier.

Robin van Persie was by far our best player last night. Some of his touches were Bergkamp-like, and the one drag-turn he did was simply out of this world. I had to keep watching the replay to believe what he'd done. Fantastic. He was still guilty of over elaboration at times, but looked sharp.

Probably the best thing about last night though was that Merse was in the studio and kept calling Theo "Wilcotts". About five times. Hilarious.

In other news Chelski got beaten by Middlesbrough, who from what I saw on Match of the Day thoroughly deserved their win. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Maureen.

News came through yesterday of a bid for Reyes from Atletico Madrid, although as its rumoured to be £11m there's no way we'll be doing business.

There's quite a nice interview with van Persie in the Sun, where they basically talk about him being fucking great and about how he understands that other people might find him arrogant. Nice job RvP.

Henry fancies us to win the Champions League this season. Thierry's always had a healthy dose of self belief, and it's well appreciated.

3-0 lead should see us through

We go into tonight's Champions League third round qualifier three nil up, and if we don't get through it will be nothing short of catastrophic. Team news is still not particularly forthcoming, but I believe we'll look a little like this.

Arsene needs to rest players, worring this early on in the season I know, but we're not used to two competitive European fixtures this early on, added to the nonsense of recent international friendlies.

Henry looked patently unfit on Saturday (after Paul O'Grady made him play a full 90 minutes for France last week) so he'll sit out with RvP coming in alonside Adebayor. Reyes and Rosicky are both still injured so we should see Young Theo Walcott (YTW) make his Champions League debut. Ljungberg looked unfit against Villa, but Hleb needs a break, having played the full 90 minutes in both our games so far this season, plus another for Belarus, so it's a toss up over who will start, but I think it will be Freddie. Cesc, lest we forget, is still a fragile little thing in terms of years and should be rested wherever possible, and quite frankly we shouldn't need him for tonight, so the Flim Flam man should start alongside Gilberto, who's tough as old boots.

Unfortunately we're currently so threadbare at the back that nobody can be rested, other than Aluminium coming in for Mad Jens. Wenger's made it clear that Mr Tweedy will not be playing unless he doesn't leave before the end of the transfer window, so it's an unchanged back four.

I'm confident about tonight, but rather pissed off at the red membership debacle that has taken place at the club this year which has prevented me from buying a ticket for tonight's game. I renewed my membership, as I do every year, in July. I still haven't received my swanky new membership card, and many, many others haven't either. It means that tonight will not be a sell out, and tickets won't be put on general sale at the stadium either. Bit pissed off to be honest. Many people may see us as being home and dry, and treat this as a nothing game, but it's not, added to the fact that I haven't been able to get along to a game at the Emirates yet. Hopefully it'll sort itself out soon. Apparently (so my dad, who was on the phone to the ticket office the other day, tells me) they've had a far greater demand on new red membership this season than ever before, and have had to suspend the entire process, including renewals. Bah.

In other news Arsene has officially confirmed that he has made a bid for William Gallas, which could well find itself folded into the Cole nonsense (Arsene has said he can't wait to be shot of him. Me too Arsene). Not really sure where that would leave Senderos and Djourou. Gallas would have to be told he would be first choice for him to come here, as he will have to take a sizeable pay cut, and at 29 he's going to be knocking around for a while, and thus holding up the youngsters' development. Still, there are plenty of games in a season. It'll be interesting to see how this develops.

Arsene's also raised a few concerns over the fixture list (every manager does this every season).

Come on you Gooners.

The curse of leaving the Arsenal

News came through yesterday that Robert Pires has torn his cruciate in his left knee. It's a bloody horrible injury, will see him miss the majority of his first season with Villareal and I'm sure we'd all wish le Bob a speedy recovery.

This is just the latest in a long line of Arsenal players who have left the club for one reason or another and gone on to major disappointment or middling mediocrity. Edu left for Valencia and promptly missed a season through injury. Vieira left (read "was sold off") to Juventus and promptly had his scudetto medal taken away. Petit left for Barcelona and spent his life at centre half/on the bench. Overmars also left for Barcelona and spent the rest of his days on the treatment table. Nicolas "le incredible sulk" Anelka left for Real Madrid, Liverpool, Manchester City, Fenerbahce and, we are now led to believe, Fat Sam's Bolton. We all hope for similar travails for little Ashley.

The only one who really pulled it off was Gio van Bronckhorst, winning the Champions League with Barca last season. Cunt.

Anyway, onto other things. The latest in Cashleygate developments is that Chelsea are now offering William Gallas as a straight swap. Pull the other one, it's got bells on. Best left back in the world, 25 years old, two years on his contract versus a good centre half we don't really need, 29 years old, in the last year of his contract. They really are proper fuckwits. I've already said that, unlike some others, I'd welcome Gallas in, but anything more than £7m would be silly. I wish Chelsea would stop pissing around and just make us a decent offer. There's some more Reyes nonsense that I can't even be bothered going into, as Arsene has already said that he's staying for the season.

There's nothing else really happening, although the latest team news for tomorrow night is hinting that Rosicky might be fit to play after missing out on Saturday. Which would be nice considering everyone else seems to be injured or patently unfit.

The bindippers have their second leg tonight. I'd be a bit worried if I was from the red half of Scouseland.

Positives and negatives

Well, it was a less than auspicious start to our Premiership campaign, but unlike some doomsayers I'm not overly concerned. Any side with Martin O'Neill at the helm was never going to be a pushover, they were well organised, had a game plan and stuck to it. That said I think we were the better team and deserved all three points, but that's football.

I think it was clear from the game that we're still lacking a yard and our finishing still isn't what it should be. The defence looked decent other than the corner cock up for Olaf Thor Odin Valhalla big beard Mellberg's goal, although Eboue's final ball coming forward is still wank and Hoyte let people past the outside a little too easily. Considering he spent half of last season playing left back for Sunders it's a little disappointing, and I think that Kerrea Gilbert is now looking the better bet out of our young English fullbacks. Henry looked shattered after playing 90 minutes midweek for France and quite frankly Raymond Domenech is a Paul O'Grady likalike cunt, added to the fact that TH14 reckons he's not even 60 per cent fit yet. Freddie also looked like he was dying on his feet.

Of course much of the media attention has been on young Theo making his full debut for Arsenal, and actually doing rather well thank you very much. He looked sharp and tricky down the left and had a big part to play in Gilberto's equaliser. Thierry's showered him with praise and Master Walcott has spoken out himself about his first game and being drug tested afterwards.

So we dropped two points on Saturday but it could have been a lot worse, and as Wenger has been at pains to point out, it could take us a while to settle into the new stadium.

In the YAMA-patented "players who are still Arsenal players but are currently playing on loan for other teams" watch, Bendtner and Larsson continued to impress at Birmingham City, both getting on the scoresheet to see the Blues to a 2-1 win over Crystal Palace. In my opinion both, Bendtner inparticular, have futures at AFC. Lupoli played the second half for Derby but failed to stick any in the onion bag.

In Ashley Cole news, well, he still hasn't fucked off. There are rumours of a final £19m bid, and also some more nonsense about Gallas. Real Madrid have confirmed that they are complete bastards and seemingly have no intention of putting in a reasonable offer for Reyes, so he's just been completely unsettled and made a public fool for nothing. I hate them.

And that's pretty much it. It'll be interesting to see the line up for Wednesday's game against Zagreb, considering the injuries we already have, added to the fact that the players that played on Saturday aren't fit. Thank God we're taking a three goal lead into the game.

Premiership countdown

Well, tomorrow's the day. The first competitive game at the Emirates and the kick off to this season's Premiership campaign. I'm so excited that I'm literally bursting with fruit flavour. After weeks either side of the World Cup with no football to fill my otherwise pointless life I cannot wait for it to start all over again. Last week's Champions League qualifiers with the Arse and the bindippers only whetted my appetite further, and now the air of expectation is palpable.

With Arsene confirming that Cashley won't be in the squad for tomorrow's game, and with Reyes apparently have picked up a "groin strain" (read "pulled a tear duct" crying his eyes out after his move to Real Madrid seems to have fallen through) and Thierry not 100% after having played 90 minutes of a stupid France friendly midweek, I think the team will line up as so...

______________________Mad Jens______________________

Eboue_________King Kolo_______Djourou__The Flim Flam Man

Hleb____________Cesc_________Gilberto_______Little Mozart

________________RvP_________Adebayor_________________

I'm pretty happy with that, and even with the Aston Martin revival going on in the claret and blue section of the second city they should have more than enough to roll Villa over. That said the first game of the season is always a tricky one, and the motivational powers of Martin O'Neill are certainly not to be sniffed at.

Still, I think we'll win, and I think we'll win 2-0 thanks to a fine brace from RvP.

Coming back to Reyes' move to Madrid collapsing, this is yet another fine example of los Merengues being absolute bastards when it comes to their transfer dealings. Go in, unsettle a player, offer an insulting amount to his club and then sit back and wait for the player to go on strike or otherwise throw his toys out of the pram, thereby getting him at a reduced price. Calderon has said "Reyes will only come here if Arsenal meet our conditions". The arrogance beggars belief. Look mate, if you want to buy our player who's got a contract till 2011 who we don't want to sell and who we have no earthly reason to sell, then you'll meet our conditions your horrible, horrible cunt. They really are an absolute shower of bastards and it's a shame Capello's there because I really like him. There are also rumours that they're haggling over a price on Cole, which would be a fantastic two fingers up to Chelsea.

There's some other stuff knocking about with Jens saying there's no turning back for Cole, Ljungberg saying he's never wanted to leave and Lupoli having almost joined Derby (that's been going on almost as long as the Reyes saga), but none of it's very interesting.

Especially when you consider that tomorrow sees the beginning of a new season in the English Premiership. I can't wait.

Come on you Gooners.

Belter from van Persie, Arsene pimps Cole abroad

International friendly nonsense last night, and Robin van Persie scored a screamer and played a full 90 minutes (which I'm a bit pissed off about) against Republic of Ireland. I was watching both this game and the England game on separate TVs, and this was certainly the more entertaining of the 4-0 wins.

I don't want to go too indepth into why last night's game against Greece was poor, how 4-0 was generous, how abysmally poor the Greek defence was, but I'm certainly refusing to acknowledge England's second goal as a Frank Lampard strike, due to the ridiculous deflection it took. A mate and I were discussing how having "deflections" as your principal ability is a bit wank, and it is, and that's Fat Frank down to a tee. That and Pukka pies.

In proper Arsenal news there's a story running that we are willing to drop our price on Cashley, but only to teams not in the Barclaycard Premiership, ie Chelsea. I'd rather sell him for £16m to Internazionale than for £20m to the chavs, that's for sure, however, as with the rest of this increasingly dull transfer saga, I wouldn't expect a resolution any time soon.

Conversely the Times is running a story which states that Arsene has asked the board to resolve Cole's departure to Chelsea by the end of the week. It hints at the hold up being Double D's pride forcing him to hold out for £25m, when Chelsea would likely stump up £20m if we asked them to. I'm not so sure about that, as they're massive cunts. There's also a bit at the end where Kolo is talking about improving our away record this year. All hail Kolo.

Gilberto's shooting his mouth off as always (does this man ever get tired of talking to the press), this time about Theo Walcott, first demanding that Wenger gives Theo more game time this season, and then quickly retracting that, saying that the boss will do what is in the best interest for Theo's development. I swear to God, the most dangerous place in football is between Gilberto and a sport's journalist.

And finally in other news my favourite Arsenal blog (other than youaremyarsenal of course) Arseblog has come sixth (fourth if you discount the BBC and commentfree) in last month's hitwise statistics. Congratulation Arseblogger, you big Irish git you.

Well done young man

Theo Walcott marked his England U21 debut with a goal after just 2 minutes and something seconds last night as we struggled to a 2-2 draw with Moldova. It was a poor game, and whilst Theo didn't set tthe world alight that's really to be expected considering he hasn't played competitive football in over six months. There were slight concerns about whether Theo was brought off with an injury, as there was an ice pack applied whilst he watched the rest of the match, but hopefully it's just a twinge and nothing too serious.

His goal was a well-taken header from a Leighton Baines cross, although to be honest the keeper might have done a bit more.

Still, well done young man. I look forward to seeing you in the red and white.

Other than that there's really not much of interest about. Sky Sports is running this rather dull story on Big Phil in which he states that he intends to fill the rather sizeable (snigger) gap left by Sol Campbell's departure. Phil, you already have mate.

The Sun is running a story a piece on our desperately departing duo of Jose and Cashley. The Mr Tweedy story states that his book will stay off the shelves until he finally buggers off, which will be as soon as Chelsea realise that Cole is worth as least as much as Drogba, and offer an according amount of wonga.

The Reyes story has the Sun saying that Manu Adebayor has told Jose "we don't want you anyway". Manu's actual quote? "Maybe he should just go so we can all move on". Slightly less incendiary, I think you'll all agree and probably matches the sentiments of most Gooners.

Continuing with Adebayor, there's a bum-kissing article on Arsenal.com where Manu basically sucks up to Thierry and doesn't say anything interesting at all.

Justin Palmer has written a bit of a puff piece in the Guardian about Henry's decision to stay, his rather generous opinion of Chelsea, and how he expects the young players to make up for our departures over the summer. Remember that this is the same Henry who demanded transfers about a fortnight ago to bring in some more experience. Such is football.

Theo in "may actually play" shocker

The majority of this morning's stories are concerned with Jose claiming his move to Real Madrid is all but completed, and that Real Madrid's latest bid "cannot be turned down". As this has been translated from Spanish it's hard to determine the intended tone, however I assume it's a plea rather than him expecting us to simply roll over and accept however many Euros they're currently waving at us.

Yesterday saw news that Mad Mad Jens plans to retire after Euro 2008, and also seemed to hint that this year might be his last with us, as he might want his swansong season back in his native Germania. After Jens finally finding the consistency we've been longing for since he arrived, and the paucity of goalkeeping cover in the gap between him and Seaman, it's rather depressing that we're going to have to start looking for another first choice goalkeeper next summer, cos let's face it, Aluminium and Poom don't fit the bill.

News today that Graham "three cards" Poll will officiate the first Premiership game at the Emirates Stadium on Saturday. I've never liked the self important twat from Tring, so let's hope the Arsenal faithful give him the reception he deserves, and that he doesn't try to make our first competitive game at the Grove all about him. He almost certainly will, the egotistical twit.

Theo Walcott is expected to play some part in tonight's England U21 qualifier against Moldova. After Steven Gerrard's recent, and completely unnecessary, pointless cash in (read extract from ghostwritten autobiography) attack on young Theo I hope he comes off the bench with the game stuck in a dull 0-0 funk and bags a hat trick. The criticism he's received is completely unfair, and whilst most of it has been aimed at Sven for picking him it's undoubtedly going to affect your confidence if the best English player of this generation states that you had no right to go to the World Cup.

Henry, Lehmann and Eboue are up for UEFA club football awards in their respective positions for their exploits in reaching last year's Champions League Final. How King Kolo and the boy Cesc aren't there I'll never know.

Ashley Cole has still not buggered off

Monday morning brings no further concrete developments in the Cashley Tweedy episode, or in Jose Antonio Reyes' protracted departure to Madrid for that matter. The longer it goes on the more I think that Chelski have every intention of paying up, but want to wait until the last possible moment so as to give Arsene absolutely no time to do anything with the loot.

Of course I could be completely wrong and it could be all about us wanting Gallas, and him wanting to come here, as reported in yesterday's Observer. It's in a much larger article by the delightful Amy Lawrence, basically spelling out why Roman Abramovich is a massive mafia money tosser. Alternatively the Independent reports that a bid "between £22m and £24m" (that'll be £23m then) is expected sometime this week, after Lyon told Chelsea that their second choice, Eric Abidal, would cost almost as much.

It's more of the same from Reyes, as he continues to push Arsenal into a difficult negotiating position with Real by claiming it will be bad for him and Arsenal if he has to stay. I expect Madrid to be proper bastards over this deal.

Redsblog has done a nice piece on how the new stadium might affect the way we play. It'll be interesting to see what the atmosphere's like for a competitive game, as DB10's testimonial, though it was a special day, isn't really a fair barometer of how the stadium will sound with 60,000 people urging the Arse on to victory.

In other footballing news the bindippers beat the chavs 2-1 in the [insert politically correct synonym for charity] Shield yesterday. Chelski looked poor (apart from Shevchenko who, unfortunately, looks like he's going to bag plenty of goals this season) and Liverpool deserved the win. But as anyone, including Mourinho, is quick to point out, the game is meaningless, and any psychological advantaged that Liverpool now claim to hold is negligible.

Aston Villa have announced to the London Stock Exchange that they have struck a deal for American billionaire Randy Lerner (surely one of the all time great chairman names) to take control of the club. It'll be interesting to see what O'Neill does with some money to spend at a decent-sized Premiership club. He's delivered everywhere he's been so far, but they've been at low levels (Celtic in Europe aside). He'll be expected to get into Europe and push for the top six now, and it's a different world to what he's done before. Still, he'll be entertaining in post match interviews.

Hooray for the weekend

The weekend approaches, and I'm off to get drunk with my mate Howell for his 25th birthday. He's a Man Yoo fan, so much fun will be had over horseface's departure, Carrick's ridiculously inflated transfer fee and the resulting injury, and anything else which comes to mind.

The whole Cashleygate business could well be done and dusted within the next 24 hours, so says the Guardian. I don't think I can stress how ready I am for all of this rubbish to be over, and the idea of Arsene with (hopefully) £20m plus to spend (not counting the possible £10-15m for Reyes) is a mouthwatering prospect indeed. The article goes on to say that Ashley Cole was not part of yesterday's Arsenal FC team photo, although Jose Antonio Reyes was. I still expect him to leave once Madrid stop pissing around over the price.

TH14 has apparently pleaded with Cole to stay, but I think he's a smart enough chap to realise that the situation is now beyond saving.

Yesterday there was a curious story regarding Ryan Garry on the front page of Arsenal.com. The story itself, that Garry is finally back to full fitness following two years dogged with injuries, is not what interested me, but rather that it was the lead story on the site for a fair few hours. Is this a hint at the level of involvement Garry can expect this year? Seems strange considering he's a left back, which, even with Cole leaving, we have plenty of (when they stay fit - how many different players played there last season?), and considering we'd almost certainly make a purchase in that area if he was to leave. Still, he's now 22 and it's unlike Arsene to keep a player that's come through the youth set up that long if they still haven't made the breakthrough (his apparent love affair with Aliadiere aside).

Everyone's favourite indecisive Frenchman, Franck "face not even a mother could love" Ribery has had another about face (no pun intended) and decided that yes, he would like to stay in Marseille for next season. Expect his next "Champions League club, come and get me" plea in the next five days. Makes you wonder where Arsene will turn to bolster the left wing when Reyes leaves if Scarface isn't available.

And that's it. Let's hope Mr Tweedy has fucked off to west London by Monday morning for a princely sum.

Chelsea call Arsene's bluff, but Arsene's not bluffing

Chelsea announced last night that the Ashley Cole deal is off because Arsenal's valuation is too high, and we have turned down their bid which they are now claiming will not be raised. That bid is believed to be in the region of £20m, whilst we are looking at a figure closer to £25m.

It really is laughable that club like Chelsea, who can spend whatever they like on their acquisitions, are quibbling over the cost of the best left back in the world. Look at the money they have paid for SWP, Essien and Drogba (not counting the reasonably-priced Schevchenko). They spent £23m plus on all three of these players, all of whom are not world class and have failed to live up to their billing upon arrival at Stamford Bridge.

I guarantee you that if Cole played for Marseille or Manchester City or any club that isn't a major competitor of Chelsea (or hadn't been caught and reprimanded for tapping Cashley up) then they wouldn't blink an eyelid about paying £20m plus for Cole. They truly are a bunch of bastards. Anyway, we have his contract, we're in command of the situation (whatever they believe) and Mr Tweedy will stay put if our valuation isn't met.

The Guardian reports that Real Madrid sporting director Predrag Mijatovic arrived in London last night to meet with Double D over the signature of Jose Antonio Reyes. I think we can all now agree that the Reyes is off and that the rebuttals on Arsenal.com were the rubbish we all thought them to be at the time. Rumours abound regarding the price, but I don't think we'd be prepared to take a loss on him, so it'll have to be around the £13m mark.

Theo Walcott has been called up to the England U21 side. Whilst some people are viewing this as a snub by Steve Mclaren who is trying to distance himself from Sven's decision to call him up to the senior side over the summer, I don't think anyone's surprised, considering the total lack of football Walcott played at the World Cup. The U21 side is where he should be right now and I'm sure he accepts that and is not at home crying his eyes out in his brand spanking new Superman Returns pyjamas.

Nicklas Bendtner, Seb Larsson and Fabrice Muamba all started for Birmingham last night as they beat Sunderland 1-0 at the Stadium of Light. Blues boss and all-around backstabbing twat Steve Bruce gave all three a glowing appraisal following the game, with Bendtner looking particularly impressive.

Fabregas says he's happy at Arsenal. We're happy to have you.

Absolutely Fabregas

So, our season officially kicked off last night with a solid 3-0 win over Dinamo Zagreb with a brace from Cesc and a solitary goal for my boy Robin. Considering that Zagreb were one of the toughest sides that we could have drawn and given our traditionally iffy form in away legs to Eastern European sides, as well as having an injury hit side (and absent players looking for transfers), it was a great result.

By my count we were arguably missing five players who should have started (Lehmann, Lauren, Senderos, Cole/Clichy and Henry, others such as Ljungberg and Reyes are debatable) and those that played in their stead aquitted themselves admirably. Rosicky, making his competitive Arsenal debut, performed well. He looked neat, tidy and very good on the ball. He had a few stray passes and wayward strikes on goal, but considering his lack of action since the World Cup a little rustiness is to be expected.

In general we looked a yard short across the pitch, but we still had more than enough to win the game. Hleb had a great first half, running at players, beating men and playing good balls. Djourou also looked good and Hoyte only got beaten a couple of times which is encouraging, as he may be filling in at left back for a while.

Fabregas really came into his own in the second half and grabbed the game by the scruff of its neck. Man of the match.

The biggest pre-game news was that Reyes had been dropped in place of Tomas Rosicky, despite Arsene saying that after only featuring for 30 minutes of preseason Rosicky would be starting the game from the bench. It is almost impossible not to see this as a direct response to Real Madrid finally registering an official interest in Jose, and Arsene not wanting to cup tie him indicates that he’s willing to let him go. This would add more credence to the rumours currently flying about regarding our interest in Franck “Scarface” Ribery.

In other "players who want to leave" news, Jose Moaninho has demanded a resolution to the Ashley Cole situation by the end of this week. Which is pretty superfluous considering that Cole is our player and Arsene has already said that he wants this business sorted by the end of this week.

Thierry has "apparently" demanded that we buy some more players. Whilst I don't like this sort of thing coming out in the press, it's hard not to agree with him. I just hope Double D and Arsene are on the case.

So all in all a good solid performance, and we take a three goal lead into the inaugural European tie at the Emirates.

Our season starts here

Quite a busy day yesterday.

Reyes has shown new levels of stupidity by being photographed in a Real Madrid shirt for Marca. It really does beggar belief. I can't wait to see how Arsenal.com try to explain this one, although the photos were taken last season before our Champions League tie with Real.

More rumours about us bidding for Ribery. Only makes sense if Reyes is truly on his way.

Big Fat Sol is off to Portsmouth or Manchester City, depending on which reports you believe. This is of course the world-class pie eater who claimed he wanted to go abroad for a new challenge, although I don't really care.

William Gallas has been handed the number 3 shirt at Chelsea, underlining even further that he's not coming Ashburton way, and putting added doubt into the Ashley Cole deal. I really just want him to piss off as soon as possible.

In preparation for tonight’s crucial Champions League tie with the not-to-be-underestimated Dinamo Zagreb, I thought I’d take a quick look at the side that’s likely to line up. It's going to be a tough test, but I think we'll come through. Live on ITV1 as well. Can't wait. Our season starts here.

Manuel Almunia
My biggest worry. Jens Lehmann finally lived up to his potential last season, and in my opinion was the best keeper in the Premiership. Manny, on the other hand, has never convinced, always looked flappy, and during the preseason schedule has looked particularly suspect.

Emmanuel Eboue
Had a breakthrough six months at the back end of last season and has looked a consistent threat whenever he’s been on the ball, although he needs to curb his overenthusiastic (read “prone to diving”) approach. However I’m not as convinced as others have been, and think that for now Lauren, if fit, should still be first choice. He is still an able deputy.

Kolo Toure
King Kolo. I love this guy. I love this guy so much. Toure has grown in stature every season he has been at Arsenal, particularly since establishing himself at centre half. He’s rapidly becoming one of the best in the business, his leadership qualities are essential to this youthful back four and it was touch and go whether I got “Toure 5” on the back of my shirt this year. Legend.

Johann Djourou
Wenger has shown a mark of intent by publicly placing so much trust Djourou being able to make a big breakthrough to consistent first team football. He’s impressed me whenever I’ve seen him play, and he did especially well in a Swiss World Cup defence that did not let in a goal from open play.

Justin Hoyte
Two years ago I was claiming that Justin Hoyte would someday play for England, I was that confident in his ability and potential (and the paucity of English talent at right back beyond Gary Neville). Since then he’s played in the Carling Cup, a couple of Premiership games and spent a year at Sunderland (where incidentally he played a lot at let back). Kerrea Gilbert is now looking the firmer bet, but he’s still a good player who has experience in this position.

Alexander Hleb
He’s grown into English football since his arrival last summer and is gradually turning into the wide player that Arsene always thought he could be. His impressive turns in the Champions League, coupled to his growing relationship with Eboue and Cesc on the right hand side, are making Hleb an increasingly important part of this Arsenal side.

Francesc Fabregas Soler
I was so happy when he publicly came out to brush aside media reports linking him to Madrid. Likewise when I saw that he’d been handed the number 4 shirt. I was proud when I saw him playing in the World Cup, grabbing one particular game by the scruff of the neck and pulling Spain through. He’s a talent, everyone knows that by now, and soon he’ll be one of the world’s best, I’m convinced of that. Right now he’s the centre of our team, the central cog that keeps the Arsenal machine ticking. He will soon supplant Thierry as the most important member of our team.

Giberto
Does a job, sticks his foot in, passes sideways, sometimes finds a red and white shirt. A necessity for now but I can’t wait for Diaby to come back and offer some real competition for the defensive midfield berth. Because, let’s face it, Alexandre Song isn’t going to get the job done.

Jose Antonio Reyes
Despite all the recent press attention, and the fact that Jose failing to settle in England and wanting to go to Real Madrid is the worst kept secret in football, after the fact that Jamie Carragher’s brother has slept with John Terry’s mum (no, really), Jose has looked excellent in preseason. He’s looked hungry, energetic and desperate to prove himself. Of course when it gets cold again we could see a different Jose but for now we need this Jose in the side.

Emmanuel Adebayor
When he first arrived, I wondered what Arsene was thinking. After seeing him in a couple of games, I wondered what Arsene was thinking. By then end of the season, I thought Arsene, what the hell were you thinking. However he’s looked good so far in preseason, more mobile, less Kanu-like and has been working well with van Persie. I’m willing to give both him and Arsene the benefit of the doubt, but he’s still got a way to go to justify the £7m price tag.

Robin van Persie
I am the proud owner of a new home shirt with “v. Persie 11” on the back. I rate this guy so highly. He’s shown flashes of what he’s about over the past two years and still has so much potential. What he needs now is a proper run in the side like he got back in November of last year when he won Premiership player of the month. There are rumours that he and Henry don’t gel on the pitch, which would be a big problem, but with such talent there’s got to be room for them to get it together.

Nicklas nicks it

So, the weekend brings us much gossip. Typical.

However today's biggest news is that Ashley Cole will not be travelling to Zagreb for the first leg of our third round Champions League qualifier. Of course the official line is that he's just returned from his honeymoon and hasn't trained at all because he is "ill". Unofficially I think we all know why by now.

Nicklas Bendtner scored the winner for Birmingham City on Saturday in his debut for the club. Steve Bruce is already gushing about him (note that he claims to have "beaten off" 15 competitors for Bendtner, cue immature giggling) and is also painfully aware that he only has him until January. I think it's clear that this kid's future is at Arsenal. In other young promising striker news, Arturo Lupoli rejected a loan move to Preston North End.

Mourinho has been bleating on about how it's so muich harder for his squad to prepare for the new season because they had more players than any other club at the world cup. I imagine he's including Del Horno (who actually didn't go) and Maniche, both of whom no longer player for Chelsea, and in any case that would still only put them one ahead of us. What's really fucking up their preseason is their marketing tour to the US, and they're the only ones to blame for that. Speaking of which, they lost 1-0 ot an MLS All Star team and Joe Cole got injured.

Following his earlier announcement that he was happy with the squad as it is, Arsene has performed his usual transfer talk turnaround by now stating that he is targeting two more experienced players, and that he has his eyes on one defender inparticular. Personally I doubt it's William Gallas, which is a shame, but I'm being realistic.

There is nothing going on

Morning.

There is absolutely nothing of interest happening this morning in the world of Arsenal.

Some things that aren't of interest are:

George Burley mouthing off about Theo Walcott

Dinamo Zagreb confirmed as our third round Champions League qualifying opponents.

A rumour that we're going to name Cashley in our Champions League squad. If he played he would be cup tied for the season, making a move anywhere extremely unlikely. All this in an effort to call Chelsea's bluff and get them to stump up the asking price.

Further news that we're watching the William Gallas situation with interest. Others might disagree but I'd welcome his arrival.

And that's you're lot. Told you it was a boring morning.

Tottenham PR ploys, Mourinho mindgames and more

A rather dull morning today in the world of Arsenal.

We start with ex Arsenal news with Patrick Vieira joining Internazionale from Juve for £6.5m, putting an end to those silly stories that he was off to Surrey (Man Yoo).

Didier Zokora has seemed to intimate that he snubbed us in his move to Tottenham. Considering we never made a bid for him, I find this either a failing of his basic understanding of English, or a calculated press plot from the Tottenham Hotspur communications department. Actually, it's definitely the second one.

Official news on Arsenal.com regarding the comeback from injury of Diaby, Senderos and Clichy as first reported yesterday. I still think November for Diaby is being a bit optimistic.

Jose Mourinho has begun his mind games in earnest for the coming season, stating that Liverpool will not challenge for the league, and it will be Man Yoo and ourselves who offer the real competition. I couldn't disagree more, as I think Liverpool will be a tough team to stop this season, unless Jermaine Pennant gets drunk, borrows Steven Gerrard's car, drives into a lamp post and then claims to be Steven Gerrard to the police on the scene, thus fitting Stevie G up for a decent term inside. Hey, he tried to do it with Ashley Cole...

In other Chelsea news, William Gallas didn't turn up at Chelsea's pre-season Los Angeles training ground and will be fined. It's further evidence that he wants out of the good ship Abramovich and is willing to lose an awful lot of money to do so. The fact that he's had his squad number taken away and handed to Michael Ballack is a further insult.

And that's your lot.

Take that, Schwadorf

Well. They boys ran out comfortable 8-1 winners yesteday afternoon against Austrian third division side Schwadorf, with goals from van Persie (2), Adebayor (2), Kolo, Djourou, Nicklas Bendter and Hleb. Alexandre Song came on for the second and allegedly wasn't shit, although against a third division Austrian side you'd bloody well hope not.

Arseblogger has done a nice piece on our squad set up right now, and why he thinks Arsene won't make any more signings. He makes some very good points, however I completely agree when he says that Arsene may be wrong this time, and that we need to bring in some experience to replace that which we've lost (Dennis, le Bob, the pie eater) and bolster the youngsters.

Both Diaby and Senderos are apparently ahead of schedule in their respective recoveries from injury. Diaby could be back as soon as November now, we're led to believe, which would be super.

Further news on the Ashley Cole affair. The official line is that Cole turned up to the training ground yesterday, felt ill and left after an hour. The slightly more believable, unnofficial story, is that he turned up, had a blazing row with Double D and then said goodbye to some backroom staff before leaving, with the Times alleging that he said he never wants to play for the club again. Thanks for that, I think we all got it the first twenty times that he's acted a complete tosser since the hotel incident.

More Reyes news too, as further quotes from Jose keep the water well and truly muddied. As I said yesterday, I won't be too surprised when he leaps at the chance if Real Madrid come calling.

Michael Carrick completed his £18.6m move to Man Yoo last night. For anyone who's interested, that's 37 on the Kolo Toure scale, ie you could get 37 Kolo Toure's for the same price. It's a ridiculous amount of money for a player never tested in the Champions League, played for England a handful of times and is neither a ball winner or goal scorer. I've never seen him grab a game by the scruff of its neck like Cesc does and quite frankly could the last of Alex Ferguson's brain cells please turn out the lights. He's well and truly lost it.

In other news Wembley may now not be ready til next June. I love the Emirates a little more each and every day. Speaking of which, forgot to say yesterday that I went on a little pilgrimage on Saturday to Ashburton Grove. Couldn't believe how close it was to Holloway Road station. It really is as huge as you think. Bought the new home shirt for myself and my little brother who's just finished his A-levels. He got Fabregas 4. I got van Persie 11. Because I know.