Theo in "may actually play" shocker

The majority of this morning's stories are concerned with Jose claiming his move to Real Madrid is all but completed, and that Real Madrid's latest bid "cannot be turned down". As this has been translated from Spanish it's hard to determine the intended tone, however I assume it's a plea rather than him expecting us to simply roll over and accept however many Euros they're currently waving at us.

Yesterday saw news that Mad Mad Jens plans to retire after Euro 2008, and also seemed to hint that this year might be his last with us, as he might want his swansong season back in his native Germania. After Jens finally finding the consistency we've been longing for since he arrived, and the paucity of goalkeeping cover in the gap between him and Seaman, it's rather depressing that we're going to have to start looking for another first choice goalkeeper next summer, cos let's face it, Aluminium and Poom don't fit the bill.

News today that Graham "three cards" Poll will officiate the first Premiership game at the Emirates Stadium on Saturday. I've never liked the self important twat from Tring, so let's hope the Arsenal faithful give him the reception he deserves, and that he doesn't try to make our first competitive game at the Grove all about him. He almost certainly will, the egotistical twit.

Theo Walcott is expected to play some part in tonight's England U21 qualifier against Moldova. After Steven Gerrard's recent, and completely unnecessary, pointless cash in (read extract from ghostwritten autobiography) attack on young Theo I hope he comes off the bench with the game stuck in a dull 0-0 funk and bags a hat trick. The criticism he's received is completely unfair, and whilst most of it has been aimed at Sven for picking him it's undoubtedly going to affect your confidence if the best English player of this generation states that you had no right to go to the World Cup.

Henry, Lehmann and Eboue are up for UEFA club football awards in their respective positions for their exploits in reaching last year's Champions League Final. How King Kolo and the boy Cesc aren't there I'll never know.