We eat Hamburgers for breakfast

I don't actually eat Hamburgers for breakfast, if I did I would look like Fat Frank, but our boys finally munched their way through the Hamburg defence last night to take a deserved 3-1 victory, and leave us top of the group (on results between us and Porto) on 10 points. Goals from my boy RvP, the rather poor on the night Eboue, and la Bestia saw us overcome Rafa van der Vaart's early strike, which was quite simply a magnificent effort.

It was a massive game, and really a must win with Porto having won at CSKA earlier in the day to leave them, temporarily at least, sitting pretty atop the group. Anything other than a win would have left us needing to win at Porto in order to guarantee our progression. As it is we can get through with just a draw now, important to note considering our next match after the Porto game is away at Chavski.

A game which Thierry at least will be fresh for. His third booking of the competition (for absolutely fuck all) means he sits out that trip. Considering his form recently, and his poor performance last night, I'm not that bothered to be honest, but to be fair he's been stitched up by the refs in this year's competition.

Van der Vaart's opener was a majestic strike, making room for himself before wrapping his foot round the ball and sending it past a helpless Lehmann by way of the bar. We actually responded quite well, with Hleb inparticular looking more direct than usual, and after a nice interchange with Fabregas he took a touch, steadied himself and crashed a shot into the bar. Unfortunately, unlike van der Vaart, his effort did not find its way into the net.

We continued through the half in a positive style but we were lacking a penetrative edge, and I was begging for Arsene to do away with the 4-5-1 and let RvP plough his furrow up front as God intended. After the half time break I got my wish as we came out 4-4-2 with Freddie (who worked really hard all match but still looks a yard short) on the left and van Persie up front. After looking lively all match Fabregas span on the ball five yards outside the area, looked left, played the ball the other way to Robin with the outside of his right foot, and van Persie took the ball in his stride before lining up a strike to the far post, only to nonchalantly slide the ball near post on his weaker foot. 1-1 and despite Hamburg defending well, it was no more than we deserved.

Then, of course, with 25 minutes left to play Arsene took off van Persie and replaced him with Adebayor. I make no apologies for the fact, and my Dad will confirm this, that I went absolutely mental. Even more so when it became apparent that Henry was going to remain central and Adebayor was going to drift into wide positions. Why why why? Surely the whole point of playing Adebayor is for him to stay central and make a nuisance of himself (whilst trying not to fall over his own feet) to allow Henry to move into the wing positions that he can cause so much damage from, dragging centre halves across with him in the process. Alas no. Then with 15 minutes to play, the chant went up.

THEO! THEO! THEO!

Starting on the left in a swap for the knackered Freddie, he didn't get into the game much until Hleb came off for Baptista and YTW switched to the right wing. His first touch there was a ridiculous first time turn on the volley from a cross field pass that travelled 40 yards before beating his man only to have his cross cut out. He went on to supply the pass for Eboue's burst into the box and powerful strike which beat the keeper (and really shouldn't have) and the cross for la Bestia's first Arsenal goal, a thumping header from just behind the penalty spot. 15 minutes, two assists and some lovely flashes of what a player he's going to be.

I don't want to spend time on talking about what was poor last night, but both Clichy and Eboue, his goal aside (how the Sun gave him 8 out of ten and man of the match I'll never know) had a bit of a mare, and Thierry still doesn't look happy as a lone striker.

Man of the match? Cesc. At some points he was running round like a nutter and I was worried what this card-happy, and frankly bit of a twat ref might do, but he worked so hard, and taking aside a few occasions when he got caught in posession, he really drove the team on and showed a passion and fighting spirit that I really wish our captain would when things aren't going for us. He hit the bar with a cracking effort too. He was also responsible for my favourite moment in the match when he blew a kiss at a Hamburg defender who had just fouled him when we were 3-1 up, and for my second favourite moment when, after putting in a crunching challenge on van der Vaart, Fabregas got up and turned straight into the Dutchman. Cesc thought the hapless van der Vaart was squaring up to him and went absolutely loco, eyes bulging, knocking into him. Rafael looked like he was going to lose control of his bowels. Splendid.

Newcastle preview

Well, the good news is that, after what seems to have been an age, la Bestia (hamstring) and Freddie (bit of cheese) are in the squad to face Newcastle tomorrow, following their recoveries from their respective injuries. Mad mad Jens is also fit having shaken off the heavy cold which saw him miss the 3-0 win over the Bindippers and Germany's midweek Euro 2008 qualifier against Cyprus.

The bad news is, following his departure from the Brazillian squad for "personal reasons", Gilbert O'Silva is not in the squad for tomorrow's game. Any real information on what's going on in the world of everyone's favourite Brazillian Irishman is very sparse, and I can only assume that something's happened to a member of his family, something he doesn't want the world and his brother to know about.

With Newcastle struggling for any sort of form at all, and us coming off a big morale-boosting win against Liverpool (the stupid International friendly break notwithstanding) I'd like to see something like this.

More than anyone in our squad, Fabregas needs a breather. He has so far played every minute of every game (excepting the League Cup) and, against the shambles that is the Newcastle defence, I should think we can afford to be without his creative nous. With Gilberto out and Denilson not in the squad for some reason, I'd like to see Flamini given the opportunity I feel he's earnt after the Liverpool game, and I'm desperate to see la Bestia in action. It's also a combatative central midfield pairing that I can see knocking lumps out of Scott Parker, which is nice.

With Tomas and YTW both injured, and the fact that I want to see a 4-4-2, it's a simple pick of Hleb and Freddie in the wide positions, with RvP and TH14 up front.

The back five picks itself, but following a full 90 minutes midweek for France, Gallas could see himself rested for Big Phil or Johann.

Speaking of which, Arsene has been speaking out on what a massive cunt Raymond Domenech is for playing Thierry and Willy for the full 90 minutes midweek, whilst only playing Makelele, Evra, Saha and other Premiership players for 45 minutes. I have to be honest and say that I detest practically everything about this Paul O'Grady lookalike, and I hope Arsene gave him a good slap from me.

Rotund Hungary and Real Madrid phenomenon Ferenc Puskas has died. A true legend.

Anything less than three points tomorrow will be a huge disappointment. Come on you Reds.

International friendly week / what Pardew did / the emancipation proclamation

It's been a couple of days since my last post, partly due to it being international friendly week, which means that any interesting news or contentious issues which I could be reviewing or discussing are going to be relatively thin on the ground. The other reason that there's been no posts is that on Monday I was at work til 2.30am and on Tuesday I was at work until 4.30am, and have generally been working like a slave. Whilst the United Kingdom does not have written legislation banning slavery in the manner of the United States' emancipation proclamation I still think it's a bit off.

Anyway, Justin Hoyte scored the winner on Tuesday night for the England U21s, but unfortunately Theo Walcott picked up an injury when some young Dutchman trod on his hand. I'm still not sure how serious it is but apparently he's very doubtful for the weekend.

Thierry scored for France last night and Kolo played for the Ivory Coast as they beat Sweden, and whilst Freddie didn't get a game I'm very happy with that, considering he's been out for so long and I was worried that Sweden were going to rush him back into action before he was ready. Big Phil and Johann played for Switzerland last night as they lost 2-1 to Brazil. I can't find any indication as to whether our kid Denilson got any time on the pitch at all. I doubt he did but it's still a fantastic indication of the player's potential that he's 18, hasn't played a Premiership game or an U21 Brazil team, and yet he's already been part of the senior Brazil set up.

Further rumours on what were said by Alan Pardew to Arsene Wenger at West Ham two weeks ago are beginning to come out. The Online Gooner reports a story that some people reviewing video of the incident are now positive that Pardew said, amongst other things, "you French fuck".

If this is true, and I'm not saying that it necessarily is, then lots and lots of people, and pretty much every journalist and broadcaster in the country, is going to owe Mr Wenger an apology. Certainly Pardew's immediate apology makes more sense, and Arsene's refusal to speak on the matter, because unlike Pardew he has class. I for one would not be surprised at all, and this would follow Pardew's xenophobic comments about our squad make up from last season.

The Birmingham Post reckons that their three on loan Gooners could win the Blues the Championship. Personally I think Cardiff are going to push Birmingham into second place, but the kids will have a huge influence on their season.

Anthony Stokes has won praise from the RoI B team manager following his substitute appearance against Scotland B. Thrilling.

Craig Bellamy fancies Thierry Henry.

And that's it.

Take that la'

A solid performance from the boys and goals from the Flim Flam man, King Kolo and Willy Gallas saw us to a 3-0 victory over the Bindippers, who have now lost their past five games on the road, leading everyone's favourite Spanish scouser to look even more anxious and flushed than ever.

On a sidenote, Jamie Carragher's face in this photo is an absolute beaut.

I didn't get to see the game live due to my having to work on Sunday (not to mention til 3am Saturday morning, stupid work) but having seen the highlights what struck me most was our determination and efficiency in front of goal. Again this is only from highlights, but it looked like Kolo had yet another fantastic game, and that the supposedly greedy, selfish, only in it for himself Robin van Persie got two assists and, his cheeky handball not withstanding, had another lively game. TH14 looked like he was getting back to his old self too.

When I heard that Jens was missing due to flu or a sore throat or something, I automatically feared a drubbing, but in all honesty Aluminium had hardly anything to do, with the Scouse only having two shots on target. That said Zenden should have done better with a header from six yards which went over the bar, and having two goals ruled out for offside, the second very marginal (although by this time we were three nil up with minutes to play).

The goals were well made. Flamini swept the ball into the net from six yards following fantastic build up play from Hleb and then Cesc. Kolo was then put through by a fantastically weighted pass from Robin. Lastly Gallas found himself unmarked from an RvP corner to nod home. Emmanual Adebayor came on and missed his customary sitter. One day he's going to learn how to put the ball in the back of the net, and he's going to score hatfuls. Or not.

In the end Liverpool were actually lucky to end the match with all 11 men, as Jamie Carragher should have seen a second yellow for an awful challenge on RvP, and part-time footballer, part-time young offender Jermaine Pennant made a wild tackle on the Flim Flam man. I'm glad he got heckled for his entire time on the pitch.

All in all a much welcome three points taken off one of the supposed big four.

Wenger has come out and spoken (finally) on the incident with Pardew in last week's game, stating that he was provoked. I wouldn't be surprised if there had been some sort of xenophobic comment from Pardew, but I think Arsene won't be letting anyone in on what was said any time soon.

Further plaudits have been forthcoming for Fabrice Muamba after another Man of the Match performance. As said before, could be a special kid this one. Nice that he's English too.

Everton preview / Anthony Stokes, goal machine

Right, Everton tonight and a chance for the first team fringe players and some of our younger than our usually young players to show what they're about. Last time we met Everton in the League Cup our boys spanked them 4-0, although that was at home with a full house behind them. I reckon Arsene will put out a more experienced side this time, but not too experienced, otherwise Everton might wet themselves and play 11 behind the ball all night at home. Hopefully when they see a younger Arsenal teamsheet they might actually be prepared to play football a bit.

I expect to see Senderos, Djourou, Clichy, the Flim Flam man, Denilson, Song, Walcott, Adebayor and Aliadiere amongst others, with Connolly, Traore and O'Ceurill on the bench. Allegedly (read: according to Arseblogger) we'll see young Fran Merida on the bench as well. The poor kid's already been dubbed "the next Cesc Fabregas" (which is a bit silly, Cesc's still only 19) but he's quality by all accounts and scored a stunning freekick against Spurs reserves.

There's a nice bit in the Telegraph about what top player Theo Walcott is going to be. I really do look forward to every opportunity I get to see him play, which makes it all the more annoying that tonight's match isn't on television anywhere in the world.

Speaking of televised football, I watched bits of Man Yoo going down 1-0 to Southend last night, through a lovely free kick from Freddy Eastwood. It's all the more funny because Man Yoo put out such a strong team, with Rooney and Ronaldo both starting. Southend keeper Darryl Flahavan pulled off some splendid saves to see the Championship strugglers home to a famous upset.

In the Scottish CIS cup, Falkirk went through against Celtic 5-4 on penalties, after our boy Anthony Stokes scored the equaliser in extra time. Stokes has now scored seven goals in his last three games and is getting a bit of a reputation as a goal machine. He's certainly earning rave reviews north of the border, winning the young player of the month Award for October.

I always felt a bit sorry for him last year in the reserves, because with Lupoli and Bendtner both starting up front he was often shifted out to the wing. Now we're getting a chance to see what he can do when he's playing in his preferred position. That's also three 18 year old goal machines that are all doing the business out on loan this season, which is great to see. The only problem is that conceivably only one or possibly two of them will make it at Arsenal, such is the high level of quality in the first team (although some would argue not in the goal scoring department at the moment). I have a feeling it's going to be Bendtner.

2-1 tonight. Come on you Reds.

We don't have a captain

The more observant amongst you might have noticed that there was no post yesterday, which is unusual for me as Monday is probably the one day I'm unlikely to miss, what with a game at the weekend and all. I was just still a bit too angry to post anything other than bile, directed at our manager, our players, the referee, the West Ham faithful, Jonathan Spector, and that horrible c**t Alan Pardew.

I'm not going to go into the game at length today, because that's not really what I want to talk about, but in short we didn't play well, we looked knackered from chasing a game for 90 minutes on Wednesday night, Wenger got it wrong with both the starting line up (should have rested players) and the bench (far too defensive, not enough attacking options), West Ham didn't deserve the win, Spector should've seen red, either straight red for his appalling studs up over the ball tackle on RvP or for a scond yellow for the stonewall penalty that should have been given against him, the twat who hit Robin with a coin should be found and beaten to within an inch of his life with a bag full of shrapnel, and Alan Pardew is a massive, massive c**t who, if I were the manager and he started jumping up and down in front of my face after scoring, I would shove a hammer so far up his arse that he would quite simply be dead.

No. What I want to talk about today is the fact that we don't have a captain.

This problem has been going round the fansites for a little while now, and really rose in prominence following Sunday's game. I've been saying it ever since Thierry Henry was made captain, which is a bit of a contradiction in terms.

Thierry Henry is a proud man, he's a winner and when he's at his electrifying best, he inspires all around him. But this is the problem, he is a captain who leads by example, he is not a leader, he's just a nice guy. When he does not play well, as has been seen for the majority of the season so far he goes missing. He sulks in his little corner of the field, fires scowls at everyone else on the team and does nothing to lift the other 10 players on the pitch. He is an empty shirt.

But of course he's the captain, and no one can give him a bollocking. Arsene obviously feels he can't sub him or drop him, no matter how badly he plays. On Sunday van Persie was looking much brighter than Thierry, looking like he could make something happen, and he was subbed for the laughably ineffective Adebayor with half an hour to play. He looked really pissed off, and I don't blame him. If anyone should have come off, it should have been Thierry, or maybe Hleb who was back to his "pandering to play in centre mid when he's supposed to be playing wide right" worst.

Before the whole "turning into a money grabbing twat" bit, I'd always hoped that Ashley Cole would eventually be made captain of Arsenal. He was the player who seemed to want to win more than anyone, who made every tackle count, who was a local boy who was an Arsenal fan from when he was a kid and who could fire the team up. In five years I can see Cesc making a fabulous captain. His fiery reaction at the end of the West Ham match was great to see and was in stark contrast to Thierry who went off smiling and hugging Teddy Sheringham, but right now he's too young, and still a little emotionally immature.

Right now the choice would be Kolo. Big Phil has obvious Tony Adams-like leadership qualities but he's young and with Gallas and Toure about he's not guaranteed a start. Kolo is our most consistent player in my opinion, and would be first on the team sheet at the moment, along with Jens. He works his bollocks off every match, throws himself infront of every shot, has words when words are needed.

Of course all this is irrelevant. As said above, Thierry is a proud man. I can't even imagine what taking the captaincy away from him would do. Would demand a transfer? Would he refuse to play? Would he just continue in his current ineffectual vein of form? Who knows, but we're not going to find out because it's not going to happen. Other players like Kolo are going to have to be willing to captain in all but name. Arsene needs to take Kolo and Jens aside and tell them to give Henry a tongue lashing when he needs it, because he needs to be told.

In all fairness the 4-5-1 system doesn't suit him. He's not a big hulking battering ram like Drogba, he doesn't like having to win headers and hold up the ball, and in turn we don't see the best of Thierry when he's playing up on his own. It means that if he does drift wide or come deep to pick up the ball, which is what his game is all about, there's no one left to knock the ball through to. I don't believe that Robin can play to his potential in this system either. He may play wide right for Holland but that is very much in a 4-3-3, and we play very much a 4-5-1. RvP is a striker, not a winger, let him play up front. Let's bring back the 4-4-2 for the Premiership and leave the continental 4-5-1 for the continental games.

Right, rant over for now. Everton preview tomorrow.

Right, this has got to stop

I've had enough. I'm not talking about our sumptuous approach play and lacklustre finishing, although if we could stick a few in the onion bag this weekend that'd be grand.

I'm talking about the bollocks that some "fans" are saying about other "fans", namely that the crowds at the Emirates are getting on the team's back if we're not 2-0 up after fifteen minutes, that supporters are shouting "shoot!" as soon as we cross the halfway lin, that we are, in fact, destroying this team's confidence.

Gunnerblog, what the fuck are you talking about? I was at the game last night, I thought it was one of the best crowd's we've had at the Emirates so far save for the few, and I mean few, boos at the end from Johnny come latelys. Areas of the ground that you don't expect to sing at all (such as the West Upper) were getting behind the side. When Thierry missed chances, the Thierry Henry chant was launched almost immediately. When RvP went close up went the Robin van Persie chant. I have no idea how many times other songs went round, not just in the Red Action section but all the way around the ground, simply because I lost count. We were desperately willing the team on, desperately trying to force the ball into the net through vocal power alone, and it really rubs me the wrong way when I see stuff like this.

Apparently the "abuse" Thierry and Hleb are getting is ridiculous? What abuse. I make no disguise of the fact that I was lamenting Hleb's inability to stay wide on the right to my dad, who was in the seat next to me, but I certainly wasn't shouting it at the player himself and didn't hear anyone else doing so either.

Thierry's programme notes pissed me off too, talking about how the fans shouldn't "groan" when we miss a chance. Why the fuck not? First of all it's an almost involuntary reaction. Secondly, Mr Henry, you're the worst culprit in the whole stadium. If a pass isn't inch perfect, if someone shoots when they could have passed to you, you fire them an icy gallic glare and have a couple of words. The point is that a brief "aarrrgghhh" goes through the crowd, and then we start singing again, and that's football.

I'm too pissed off to go through the match properly (or to give the ref the bollocking he so richly deserves), or go through today's news. In short Clichy was fantastic, Hleb's been attacked by the former Belarus captain, and Djourou's asked Wenger to stay for another ten years.

CSKA / sneaky Johann / Aliadiere off / my birthday

So tonight, other than being the momentous evening of my birth, we take on the Russkies at our place, really rather needing a win. Team news is so far that Justin Hoyte might make it but Adebayor definitely misses out. It'll be interesting to see who Arsene deploys at right back if he doesn't make it, I'd imagine one of Gallas, Flamini or Djourou.

Speaking of Johann, it looks like he's been taking "how to be sneaky" lessons from Kolo, as it emerged yesterday that he too signed a new long term deal in the summer. He's been very impressive in the absence of big Phil (and the mammoth chasm created by fat Sol Campbell's departure) and it's nice to see his attitude and long term view are bang on. Also, I think it's worth pointing out, because many people don't realise, that he's absolutely massive (6"4 no less) and I do like having huge fuck off centre halves.

Aliadiere looks like he could be off in January as he thinks he should've played more. With the arrival of Adebayor he's firmly fourth in the pecking order (I'm counting Theo as a winger, not striker) and whether that's right or wrong isn't the point, it's what the boss wants, so I'm surprised he doesn't see this. He's always showed great promise but he's 23 now and didn't do the business at Wolves, Celtic or West Ham when he was out on loan over the past few years. That said we've got Lupoli and Bendtner to come back, so I don't really care.

Talking of Nicklas, he bagged his seventh of the season last night for the Blues as Birmingham ran out 1-0 winners over local rivals Coventry. If Aliadiere goes in January does this mean Bendtner comes back? Personally I think it'd do him more good to have a full season in Brum, but you never know.

And finally, what am I doing for my birthday? Why I'm going to tonight's game at the Grove of course.

Come on you Gunners.